Shabbat Gathering: Purim: One too many.
Dear Chevra, as is our custom, we will gather tonight at 5.45p ct to welcome Shabbat. These are the coordinates:
Zoom
Meeting ID: 963 5113 1550
Password: 1989
Phone: +1 312 626 6799
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Here we go.
On the one hand, Purim is one of the most unalloyed joyful holidays on our calendar. On the other hand, it is fraught with triggers and reasons to be concerned. Every year, I try to sort it all out and this year is no different. We have a party. There are noisemakers. People dress up in costumes. People whoop and holler. And there’s drinking. A great time is had by all.
A closer reading of the holiday makes it problematic. God does not appear in the megillah. Queen Vashti is a victim of sexual violence. Esther’s uncle, Mordechai, sells her into sexual slavery. Gentiles are slaughtered. It isn’t a pretty picture. Then, we add to that our tradition of drinking to excess. The tradition is that we drink until we can’t hear the difference between the names Haman and Mordechai (Megillah 7b). Not a good look for a family celebration.
The inevitable digression.
The U.S. has a weird history with drinking alcohol. From 1920 to 1933, there was a constitutional amendment (18th) that prohibited the sale of alcohol. The push for the amendment was led by women who believed the prohibition would help curb domestic violence. (It did.) But there were legal and illegal work arounds. When Winston Churchill (a heavy drinker and probably an alcoholic) came to the U.S. for a lecture tour in 1932, he acquired a prescription from a doctor allowing him to drink "indefinite" amounts. (This obviated the prospect of Churchill suffering from delirium tremens during his visit.) (By the way, Churchill's favorite Champagne was Pol Roger, and when I drank, Champagne was a favorite of mine. I can recommend Pol Roger to those of you who drink.)
Back on track: Murder, he wrote.
As we know, there are some negative consequences to drinking too much. There’s a story in Talmud about one of these. I found this story on the Reconstruction website Evolve.
…the Talmud goes on to share a story about how the sage Rabbah, in fulfillment of this commandment, murdered his friend Rabbi Zeira. The next day while nursing a hangover, he realized what he had done, prayed to God for mercy and revived his friend. The next year, Rabbah invited Rabbi Zeira over again, and he wisely declined the invitation, ... saying, “Miracles don’t happen all the time.” (Megillah 7b)
Yikes!
12 steps to a Purim without a hangover.
Some people, most, don’t have any problems drinking. And some people just don’t drink anymore, including me. Evolve has something to say for us too.
Frankly, Jews who have done even a bit of recovery work will be quick to identify a “wild and crazy Megillah reading” as a potential trigger or unsafe space. That doesn’t mean that you can’t attend! Frivolity does not require intoxication. The reading of the Megillah is far more important than getting twisted. This festival is about survival! It celebrates human agency in history. Folks in recovery are hyper-aware of such challenges. Valid choices are made in advance. You can plan ahead. You can bring your own Martinelli’s and a friend in recovery. You can or decide not to attend at all.
Here’s the deal. The celebration of Purim requires the rediscovery of an evolved past and an evolving new set of norms. It starts with the commentary that “you really don’t have to get drunk—just get sleepy.” And later, Jewish guides specifically address those for whom getting drunk would lead away from a proper path of behavior. In such a case, one should not drink at all.
CSS's Purim celebration...
...is scheduled for Monday, March 6 at 5:30 p.m. in First Unitarian Society's Landmark Auditorium. Why don't you attend? It's a mitzvah! From Happenings:
Put on your dancing shoes and get ready to jeer at Haman and cheer for Queen Esther! Free pizza at 5:30 p.m. followed by Purim singing, megillah reading, and an English rendition of the story — suitable for both for adults and kids. We’ll have activities for preschoolers as well. RSVPs required for pizza - register here or email office@shamayim.org. Please dress up and bring a dessert, and sign up for a volunteer slot.
Zoom link
Meeting ID: 835 7906 5371
Password: 263778
Phone: 312 626 6799
However you celebrate Purim, may it be filled with joy and meaning.
And may it be for all of us a blessing.
See you tonight!
Gut Shabbes!
All my love,
brian.
PS
Janie Stolar