Shabbat Gathering: My sins & Yom Kippur.

Dear Chevrei, we DO NOT have Shabbat Gathering tonight as it is Erev Yom Kippur. Gud Yontif. Gud Shabbos.

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Our world is broken. Shattered. Early in Genesis, Hashem makes us the caretakers of the planet and we have well and truly f///ed that up. Don’t make me write a litany of all the ways because we have abrogated every agreement in that contract between us and Hashem. Everything. Sure, some of us sometimes try to work on repairing the world, Tikkun Olam, and some of us are making a small difference, but apparently we are a minority. We aren’t enough to make the difference we have to see in the world to survive. I use the pronoun “we” because I try to include myself as part of the solution. Most days I don’t feel I’m doing enough.

Let me enumerate some of my own shortcomings. My intention is not to exercise my ego and stand in the spotlight (pretty much). What I want to do is explain how I use the yardstick of Torah to measure my failure in adhering to the contract. --Honestly, I’m not focused on exposing myself the way so many artists do these days. No.

I’m a member of a group that is working for peace in the Middle East, but I am not active, and, honestly, I’m not sure the group has peace centered in its agenda. So how am I working for peace?

I don’t recycle enough, and I still buy things that need to be recycled in the first place. So how am I trying to save the planet from annihilation?

Out of convenience, I spend too much money with companies that are working against the best interests of the people who labor there. So, how am in solidarity with those good folk?

And so much more.

I have sinned. The work I’m doing seems to be just trying to build an image of being a good guy. I feel the work I’m doing for the commonweal of people is missing the mark. My arrow is not hitting the target at all much less finding its way to the center. That’s the Jewish definition of sin.

I’m also in the process of confronting the sins that, as a community, we will confess during the Vidui. Yom Kippur is a special day when, as a community and an individual, we are suppose to ask/beg for Hashem's forgiveness and think about how we can do better in the coming year. The truth is we ought to do this everyday so we don’t fall behind and try to cram everything into a week or so.

We recite what's in our Makzor. For me, this isn’t religious theater. For me, I am not reading a script for some sort of pious pageant. I really believe in the contract between the people and Hashem. As I am a Jew, I feel guilty for breaking that contract. Here and now, I vow I will do better next year.

And may it be for all of us a blessing.

Gut Yontif! Gut Shabbes!

All my love,
brian.