Shabbat Gathering: Blessing Our Children.

A Zissen Pesach!

Dear Chevra, as is our custom, even tonight, we will gather tonight at 5.45p to welcome Shabbat. These are the coordinates:

Zoom
Meeting ID: 963 5113 1550
Password: 1989
Phone: +1 312 626 6799

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Here we go.

One of the many beautiful things about our Shabbat Gathering is our inclusion of children. Abraham and Julia don’t qualify as children anymore, but there’s a generational tie. Theodore and Jude are sometimes present as is Sam. And many of us have children -- and grandchildren -- we hold closely in our hearts. We contain generations.

A part of home Shabbat services is the blessing we give to our children. Here are some texts of different blessings for our sons and daughters:

For boys, the introductory line is:

May you be like Ephraim and Menashe.
Yesimcha Elohim k’Ephraim v’chi-Menashe

For girls, the introductory line is:

May you be like Sarah, Rebecca, Rachel, and Leah.
Yesimech Elohim k’Sarah Rivka Rachel v’Leah

For both boys and girls, the rest of the blessing is:

May God bless you and protect you.
Yivarechecha Adonai v’yishmerecha

May God show you favor and be gracious to you.
Ya’er Adonai panav eilecha vichuneka

May God show you kindness and grant you peace.
Yisa Adonai panav eilecha v’yasem lecha shalom

As our culture has made progress, so our prayers have improved to match this progress. Here’s a text for binary and non-binary children:

Be who you are
and may you be blessed
in all that you are.
May this Shabbat bring us light, joy, and peace.
Y’hi ratzon sheShabbat zo tashreh aleinu orah, simcha, v’shalom

RitualWell has some additional prayers for gender neutral applications, but just like the ones above, they are all based on the priestly blessing found in Numbers 6:24-26.

When I lived with my family, we said the blessing over our daughters every Friday night. Sure, there was some eye-rolling as my daughters got older, but it was a special moment nevertheless. Because I had daughters, I never looked at the blessing for boys and, when I did, I had some trouble understanding it.

Who are Ephraim and Menashe?

For girls, we invoke Sarah, Rebecca, Leah and Rachel, the usual cast of matriarchs. But for boys, we refer to Ephraim and Menashe. Huh? Who are they anyway?

Ephraim and Menashe were sons of Joseph and his Egyptian wife, Asenath, and were born in Egypt during the time when Joseph was viceroy of that empire. When Jacob, Joseph’s father, was approaching the end of his life, Joseph brought his two sons to his father to receive a blessing. Jacob said that he was adopting Ephraim and Menashe as his own sons and bequeath them full shares of his legacy. And, in a continuation of the Torah’s long saga of the younger brother usurping the older brother’s birthright, Menashe received the blessing Ephraim was suppose to receive. This time there isn’t any indication this caused strife between Ephraim and Menashe and every indication that they lived peaceably together which would make them the first brothers in Torah to get along with each other. Honest. Think about it.

Whew. That’s a long way to go for the explanation, but now you know.

Regardless, these are special blessings we give our children. All during the week, we’re constantly trying to mold their character and make their behavior conform to our expectations. Around our Shabbat tables, with candles glittering in their eyes, this is a special opportunity to let them know we love them for exactly who they are right now.

And may it be for all of us a blessing. See you tonight!

All my love,
brian.