Shabbat Gathering: Happy Elul! Chodesh Tov!

Dear Chevrei, as is our custom, we will gather tonight at 5.45p ct to welcome Shabbat. (Careful readers may notice that I didn’t use the word chevra this week. Instead, I used chevrei and will continue to use it from here on out as chevra is the masculine form of the word and chevrei is a more inclusive form of the word.) These are the coordinates for our Shabbat Gathering:

Zoom
Meeting ID: 963 5113 1550
Password: 1989
Phone: +1 312 626 6799

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Here we go.

Today is the first day of the month of Elul, marked by the new moon. I will wish people Chodesh Tov, happy new month. (Chodesh Tov, dear reader!) Elul is the last month before the High Holy Days and we’re supposed to spend the month preparing ourselves for Yom Kippur. The idea of Elul is that we need to start waking up. Wake up!

Lost in distractions.

It’s so easy for me to get lost in distractions. Recently, I added two more social media feeds to my phone, Bluesky and Threads. Now I find myself looking at Twitter, Bluesky, Threads, and Mastodon. I peek at Instagram. This is too much and I know it. I’m resolved to fix this, …probably.

Twice a week, I chat with a dear friend of mine from college. (Forty-one years ago!?) We regularly spend some time trading video recommendations. But it isn’t his fault that I’m binging on Lincoln Lawyer, the Justified reboot, Transatlantic, the Perry Mason reboot, and of course, the new season of all the different Star Treks, (each episode watched multiple times). That’s too damn much!

My current work is settling the estates of my aunt and mother. I need to get this done and then get myself back to Madison. Doing that and getting back to Madison is not optional. It is essential for me. (I’ll be driving up to Madison for the High Holy Days. Yay!)

And now, during the Elul, I have another mission: Preparing for the High Holy Days.

I need introspection.

I need to begin a period of introspection leading me into Yom Kippur. I can’t focus on myself and the state of my soul when I’m doomscrolling and watching the idiot box. That leads me away from myself, not towards the proper destination. I’ve had years and years and years of dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT). In that practice, when someone gets too wound up in themselves and are spiraling out of control, there’s a list of things to do to stop the dive into anxiety and return to a somewhat normal state of mind. One of the DBT tricks from that list is to turn on the television and watch cartoons. I’m serious. Insurance paid thousands of dollars for me to learn that. And it works! But there’s sometimes too much of a “good” thing. Moderation is key. I have too many distractions and spend too much time with them and they are turning me away from the subjects that matters most right now: me, my community, and my very soul.

Wake the hell up!

Hearing the shofar is a spiritual alarm clock telling me it’s time to wake the hell up and get to work. In some Jewish communities, the shofar is blown every day during daily morning services. Once upon a time, I participated in a public mikva ceremony organized by a Renewal congregation. It was early one morning at a lake in Berkely, Calif. It was right before Rosh Hashanah, and the shofar was sounded as part of the service. The service was designed to help purify ourselves before the High Holy Days. There isn’t a snooze button on the shofar. It’s meant to wake me up from my dream world and move me to look at the fierce reality around me and within me.

It’s time to get right with the world.

I need to get with the mission of the month and prepare for Yom Kippur. Yom Kippur is the deadline for settling my accounts. The story goes that G!d can forgive me for the sins I’ve committed against G!d, but G!d can’t forgive me for the sins I’ve committed against the people in my life. Only they can forgive me. Forgiveness from others is something I especially need to sort out because I've committed some big sins against people in my life. --Dear reader, please forgive me if I've hurt you or committed a sin against you.

I empty myself on Yom Kippur. I fast, …pretty much. My empty stomach makes me uncomfortable. And I’m probably going through caffeine withdrawal because every year I break my resolution to taper off it before Yom Kippur. My head feels like it’s splitting open. I didn’t shave and my stubble is itchy. I didn’t brush my teeth and I worry about my bad breath offending my friends when I’m schmoozing with them between services. And I didn’t shower (ick). I thump my chest with my fist as I confess the sins my community has committed and the sins I committed. I beg for forgiveness from the people I’ve hurt. I beg forgiveness from G!d. And I beg to be written in the book of life for another year. And if I get started right now, I’ll have a chance of making all that happen.

And may it be for all of us a blessing.

See you tonight!
Gut Shabbes!

All my love,
brian.

PS

Some folks have a practice of saying Psalm 27 everyday during the Elul. Here's some more on that practice.

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